Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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