you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this will be a night to untag.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
