so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
