Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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