i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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