Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
