I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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