he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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