One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
