make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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