Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
