I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
