i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
