you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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