You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
