Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
