its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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