How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
