So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
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I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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