I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
