I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
