1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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