question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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