Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
