I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.