and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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