I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life