I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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