If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
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I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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