so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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