Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
