Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
