She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
