he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
