I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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