I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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