dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
