dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
