the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
