so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
