he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
