You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
