My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
