Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
