I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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