Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
