Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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