A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
