and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
