For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
