first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
