i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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