is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
