If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I understand Curling. That high.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Boobs speak an international language.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
