..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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