I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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