I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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