So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
